Lesser Known Michele Bachmann History Flubs

Funny story written by Mark Garrison

Friday, 19 August 2011

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Michele Bachmann being told she's wrong.

Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann seems to have trouble remembering her history. The mistakes she makes on the campaign trail are almost becoming an everyday occurrence. While many of her well known mistakes have gone viral, I have compiled some of her lesser known flubs below.

June 27, 2011: Said she finds inspiration in the way Colonel Sanders led the Spanish invasion of Normandy during the War of 1812.

June 28, 2011: Claimed that sea lions killed Bin Laden and expressed amazement that they knew how to fly helicopters.

July 4, 2011: Said she personally witnessed the signing of the Declaration of Independence 2,000 years ago and saw Jesus cry as he watched from the balcony.

July 8, 2011: Touted the fact that she grew up with John Quincy Jones on the Addams Family farm as proof of her constitutional values.

July 10, 2011: Promised that if she wins the election, burgers and cars will cost 10ยข again.

July 23, 2011: Expressed sorrow that Amy Winehouse was found dead on the ceiling of a Norwegian debt collectors house by John Boehner.

July 25, 2011: Claimed that she went to school with Abraham Nixon, one of the women who signed the Emancipation Prophylactic.

August 5, 2011: Promised to ban all forms of pornography including Food Network's annual cucumber special.

August 10, 2011: Promised to ban gay space shuttles from exploring Planet Hollywood.

August 12, 2011: Stated that the moon was discovered in 1492 by George Washington while chopping down the Declaration of Independence.

What will she say next? Whatever it is, the world will be waiting to hear her amazing historical insight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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