Written by Inchcock

Thursday, 14 July 2011

image for Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area
On site transport provided on some assignments only

Security Guard required for work in the Nottingham area

Must be able to speak, and understand some English

Have own transport (Bicycle Or bus pass)

Be aged between 18 to 96 (Other ages considered)

Ex-taxi drivers welcome

It would be advantageous, if the applicant has the ability to be surly, sneer, spit, swear, and senticous (Prickly-thorny)

Be prepared to work up to 110 hours a week (all hours will be paid at the same minimum wage rate)

No Pension provided

No sick pay provided

SIA licence training available (£548 per course [resits at £450 - once passed you pay £248 each 3 years for your licence)

Uniform provided by company at reasonable rates


Apply to www.SpoofSecurity.co.uk

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more