U.S. Nuclear director still annoyed at Japan comparisons

Funny story written by Daniel Wolf

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

The following interview took place 150 miles away from the closest American Nuclear reactor.

When Nuclear Regulatory Director Mr. Fallout was asked "Why did you choose to meet with the press at THIS location?" Mr. Fallout said "For safety reasons"

Thinking that "Safety Reasons" might mean "Security Reasons", in the wake of Mr. Bin Ladens replacement possibly being named, I asked Mr. Fallout if American reactors are, indeed, in such danger, from potential attacks.

Mr. Fallout was, quick, to say that America's Nuclear Reactors are (safe), from attack. Mr. Fallout, then pointed to his water glass, then said "Safety Concerns".

Mr. Fallout was, equally, cryptic, for most of our conversation, and this reporter was compelled to read, and often mis-read, the mans "body language".

When I asked Mr. Fallout about the fact that he, and his immediate family, live atleast 100 miles away from the closest reactor, he made a "V" sign, pointing at the food, and drink, at our table. As he did so, he said "Safety Concerns".

When asked about the safety, of families living near Nuclear Power Plants, Mr. Fallout said, smiling "Officially, America has the safest Nuclear Power plants in the entire world. We have the tightest, and highest, amount, and number, of safe-guards, of any nation, in the world".

When asked "Then, why is it that none of the staff, of Mickey Mouse reactor 2, Pluto reactor 3, or Donald Duck 5, live closer than 110 miles to their job site?" Mr. Fallout would only say "Safety Concerns".

When asked about the recent disasters, in Japan, Mr. Fallout would only say (for the record) that the Japanese did not, properly, prepare for such a serious incident. They (the Japanese) just hoped that nothing bad would happen.

When asked how American preparedness compares to the Japanese, Mr. fallout, proudly, said "This is America, we have spent Trillions of dollars developing plans for every possible scenario. We have left nothing to chance".

When asked about the notorious Three Mile Island, Mr. Fallout would only say "Before my time", with a bright smile.

When asked just how "safe" U.S. reactors would be, if they used the same, FAILED, technology as Japanese reactors use, Mr. Fallout was very clear as he said "Sir, STOP asking me about the safety of our reactors! I promise you that American reactors are the safest on the planet."

When asked "If that is true, sir, then WHY doesnt your staff, and yourself, live much closer to your work-site? Why does everyone, connected with Nuclear, live atleast 110 miles from the closest reactor?"

I guess that this question angered Mr. Fallout, who left this reporter stuck with the check, for our meeting.

This reporter left the meeting wondering if I had received any, real, answers, to the Nuclear question.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more