"The Perfect Gentleman" Survey

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Thursday, 5 May 2011


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A survey was recently conducted throughout colleges in Europe and America to find out the world's PERFECT GENTLEMAN past and present. Females of all ages, mostly in the 18-30 group were asked to read biographical material on a list of twenty subjects. Physical descriptions were kept to a minimum to hide the subjects' identities.

Candidates were asked to mark in terms of (1) looks (2) sex appeal (3) personality (4) manners and charm (5) depth and understanding.

The results were as follows in descending order.

(1) Spiderman
(2) Henry Kissinger
(3) The Boston Strangler
(4) Harry Potter
(5) Adolf Hitler
(6) Joseph Goebbels
(7) George Bush Senior
(8) Attila The Hun
(9) Pope Benedict
(10) Jesus

Spiderman ticked all the boxes. He was the runaway winner. Jesus polled low on depth and understanding. Harry Potter got the worst score for personality to the extent that he could be said not to have one. Hitler scored highest on manners. Pope Benedict would have polled better but for his looks. The same applies to Kissinger who might otherwise have pipped Spiderman for top spot.

The survey makes it clear to us that women can easily tell the difference between fantasy and reality and rarely confuse a man's behaviour with who he really is. Right?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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