Written by birbee

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

image for WAIT.....It's All Over Now for Local Man
Waiting for the Wait.............

Finally, after what seems like Eons and Eons, the wait for local man Seaton Carew is finally over.

It all started in April 2010 when the ex-thespian mistakenly consumed around 600 units of Polish alcohol and found himself arguing with his own shadow. After losing the arguement, the foolish wannabe entrepreneur decided to teach himself a lesson and dialled 999.

Seconds later the local street, close to where the local one-time contender lives, was filled with police armed to the teeth following reports of a loaded cucumber present at the scene.

Following a night in the cells, Carew began his long wait.

Funnily enough, Carew thought back to a joke once played on him when he was a young man, fresh in his new employ, and he was told to go to the storeroom and ask for a 'long weight'. The storeman was most obliging and the young Carew stayed there for the best part of the day.
Oh how everyone laughed later that evening when his colleagues allowed him to buy the drinks all night.

The wait continued through May, June and July until the first phase was complete.

During this phase, there were a number of mini-waits.

Waiting for the knock, waiting for the decision, waiting for the date, waiting for the 'result'.

Once the result was in, and the first phase over, the second phase commenced.

The second phase of the wait was scheduled to last 200 hours, but it would be two hundred broken hours. And in between each session of three or seven hours would be a secondary wait. A wait that may last almost 24 hours, or six days, or occasionally three or maybe four days.

Dribbling and strange odours, bingo calling and dominoes ensued. There was even a hint of sexual violation, well reported in the local man's journals, The Seaton Carew Diaries.

But finally, the wait for the completion of the scheduled 200 hours is over but the serial waiter will not let the grass grow beneath the rolling stone. Carew, once reported to have taken a horse to water and stolen the churh roof's lead, has embarked on another wait.

This time, it's not so long. A mere two and a half weeks and the current wait will be complete.

Whether or not it will be successful is another story entirely.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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