Isle of Wight News - Isle of Wight Mardi Gras under fire

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

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This year's Mardi Gras will have floats

Isle of Wight Councillor David Pugh has come under fire for renaming the Isle of Wight Spring Festival the "Isle of Wight Mardi Gras". This carnival and tourist attraction is to be held on the ninth of April and this has angered local pedants.

"The Spring Festival has been called this in all the years it's been running," said local resident Nick Erlastic. "About five years now. How dare they decide on a whim to rename it? And on top of this, they've renamed it to Mardi Gras. Do these people not speak any French?"

The biggest complaint appears to centre on the fact that the ninth of April is a Saturday, whilst the literal translation of Mardi Gras is 'Fat Tuesday'.

"If they're going to have the effrontery to rename this traditional festival, they can at least do so correctly and call it 'Samedi Gras' or move it to a Tuesday," said Erlastic.

Additional complaints have flooded in to the council offices in their dozens if not tens, regarding the use of the term "Gras" which means "fat".

"Are they attempting to say that Isle of Wight residents are morbidly obese and all going to die horrific weight related deaths before their fiftieth birthday?" demanded Erlastic. "Or is it more sinister than this? Are they indicating that they wish to create a morbidly obese population on the island? Are they trying to reduce the pensions deficit by killing us all off? We demand answers."

David Pugh was unavailable for comment. He was cutting the ribbon the first of a new chain of pancake restaurants called "Drizzled Syrup".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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