Written by j.w.

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

image for Orgasms Cut to Reduce Deficit
Orgasms Cut Shock

'It pains me to implement the cut on orgasms' announced Chancellor of the exchequer George Osborne 'but we have to do something about the deficit and this seems the best way to go about it.'

Shock waves swept through the beds of half the nation. Deidre Marmaduke could swear the earth moved when she reached her climax but then she realised that just at the moment of ecstasy a sudden shock left her deflated.

'My God, what has happened?' she asked Arnold, her lover 'I got a shock not a thrill.'

Arnold was puzzled. He had heard the Government were going to cut orgasms but he hadn't realised the cuts were coming so soon. 'This will upset middle England' he said 'this cut is too soon and too deep. It is all the Banker's fault, they should be the ones having their orgasms cut but they are getting bonus orgasms.'

Angry phone calls were made from all over the land as orgasms failed to occur when they should. A hurried statement to the House of Commons was rushed into the Chamber. 'We all have to tighten our belts' explained the Prime Minister 'we simply canot go on having orgasms in this irresponsible way.'

'But how will this help in reducing the deficit?' asked a puzzled Ed Balls.

'You are one to ask' sneered Cameron in his best Etonian arrogance 'it was you who was responsible for this desperate measure.'

Uproar exploded. At this the Speaker called for Order more than once.

'Point of Order'

'Yes what is it Clegg?'

'Members opposite know cutting orgasms will cut births and fewer babies will save the economy millions of pounds.'

'What a brilliant idea' the Speaker cried 'think of the tax burden that will be lifted.'

Cries of 'Hear Hear'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Parliament, orgasm, Cuts

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