Attention Americans:
Ours is a nation filled with the wretched refuse of others' teeming shores. There are just as many people named Sanjeep, Ulixes and Kai in this country as there are named Courtney or Eric.
And it doesn't matter whether your name is Jose, or if it is spelled with four Z's, an umlaut, three Q's and the number 8, we will find a way to Americanize it just enough to be able to ask for you when we call about your test results or overdue cable bill.
And we who have Americacentric names are aware of this, and we respect it. What we have no patience for is when you try to pronounce, say, a Spanish name like Marisol, with a phony Latino accent, like you just floated to America from Cuba on an old closet door.
My oldest daughter's name is Miel, which is Spanish for 'Honey'. But I pronounce it "Me Yell." I don't try to say "Mee Jell", which is how my Boricua grandmother would say it.
So stop trying to be down with the Spic homies. It's enough.
