Arizona creating "intertainment centers" for Latino-Americans

Funny story written by Amethyst Ryder

Saturday, 15 May 2010

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Hasta luego, hombre: Gov. Brewer to relocate Latino-Americans

As the next step in her agenda to crack down on illegal immigration, Arizona governor Jan Brewer announced a brave new initiative: relocating Americans of Latin American ancestry to secured residential facilities.

"It's in the interest of national security, and the securing of our borders," said Governor Brewer in a press conference Friday afternoon. "Because of the strong cultural loyalty that runs deep, especially among people of Mexican ancestry, it's simply impossible to determine the loyalty of Latino-Americans with a reassuring degree of accuracy. Rounding them all up in secured residential facilities will make it much easier to confine and remove potentially subversive elements before they can do any damage to our homeland security."

All Arizona residents of at least one-eighth Latin American ancestry will be served with a formal written notice giving them a full 48 hours to sell their homes, along with larger items of personal property, and to vacate their current places of residence. Each person will be allowed to pack whatever belongings will fit into two standard sized saddlebags, then escorted via mule train to the nearest facility.

Critics charge that the governor's secured residential facilities are a violation of the U. S. Constitution and the civil rights of Latino-American citizens and other legal residents.

"These 'facilities' are simply the old Japanese internment camps redux, repeating a shameful chapter in American history that I never expected to see revived," said Giva Houte, professor of history at the University of Arizona in Tucson.

Governor Brewer denied the allegation.

"These are not 'internment camps,'" she stated. "We prefer to think of them as 'intertainment centers.'"

The facilities, under the official designation Latino Intertainment Centers Keeping European Descendants Secure (LICKEDS), will be located throughout the state. Two locations, in Gila River and Poston, which already have basic community living infrastructure in place from past residential populations, are being prepared for the first wave of internees.

Latinos lacking sombreros and ponchos will have them provided, courtesy of the State of Arizona.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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