Berlusconi and Lawrence Taylor get tricked by the same Prostitute!

Funny story written by Milo Malkavic Mendoza

Friday, 14 January 2011


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From the department of "How the F**K does this happen" it appears that the same prostitute who convinced Lawrence Taylor that she was 19 has now, according to Reuters, tricked Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi that she was 18. The girl was only 16 years old when Mr. Taylor dipped his wick and 17 when Minister Berlusconi stuffed her cannoli.

According to WikiSquirt sources in our Rome bureau Minister Berlusconi has commented about the encounter he had with the young girl and has been translated for our release:

"Youa see deesa girl done ah little trick ona papa Sil. She a told me that ah she was ah 12. I don't ah like girls past ah 14 because they are aaaaaahhhh - how you say - unclean - you a knowa what I mean?? So we are a going to ah have to a put deesa little liar on trial for a falsely tricking ah papa Sil. I will a seek life a imprisonmenta for the little Pinochio."

Mr. Taylor was not as chatty about his encounter and accepted complete responsibility for the violation, well sort of. This has also been translated for WikiSquirts release. We will first quote Taylor exactly as he gave the statement then we will have a companion translation below the statement:

"First you got to check yourself - you know what I mean? This chicken head was after my papers 'cause she wudn't goin' to be my bu. She already had a shortiez up in her crib. I was whacked on da kronik - WHACKED I SAY! and she was a crizzle of a hizzle nizzle of mine and I love me some of that crizzle so I thought all was fly. I was just gonna hit it and bounce. Next thing I know there is 5-0 at the door all up in my grill telling me the ho was a baby and shit - man I was so sauced. I tells them 'hey fa shiggidy?' Then I told them I thought the beeatsh was trying to gank'd my ass and they should keep things for reals. Well they say that I'm the one in trouble and so much for livin' large for LT. But hey if she is a shortie than I best be keepin' it real and give the little crizza beeatsh a pass. I'm such a trippin' dawg for the crizzle."

Ok WikiSquirts will now attempt to translate Mr. Taylor's statement;

"First watch what you are talking about - ok? This ugly woman wanted money out of me because she thought she was my girlfriend. But she is not my girlfriend because she has children in her house. I was very high on marijuana - VERY HIGH! and the fact that she was a white woman friend of a friend of mine and I'm a sucker for white women so I thought everything was fine. I was just going to have sexual intercourse with this [woman] and leave. The next thing I know the police are busting in the room and crowding me and telling me the girl is underage - very embarrassing. I told them that I hope the police keep things in perspective and look at the facts. Then I told them I felt the [woman] was trying to rob me or extort me and please take that possibility into consideration. Well the police weren't buying my story and that it certainly looked like my life is going to change. I understand if the woman is underage that I'm in trouble and should leave the [woman] alone and take my lumps. Man I really like white women way too much."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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