Wrong Words For The Right Now Time: The Not Nice Ones May Disappear, But The Melody Lingers Wrong

Funny story written by John Peurach

Sunday, 9 January 2011

image for Wrong Words For The Right Now Time: The Not Nice Ones May Disappear, But The Melody Lingers Wrong
UPON FURTHER REVIEW: Look at it this way, all you "I" word people out there, may I suggest an alternative approach.

NEWARK, NJ - Emboldened by the recently successful attempts of various politically correct watchdog groups to, at long last, finally have the dreaded "N" word removed from Mark Twain's landmark 19th Century All-American literary classic, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, numerous other "What about us?" players in the growing field of diversified perennial chip on their shoulder ethnic and/or socio-political groups have seen fit to suddenly step up their own individual agenda efforts to have the focus of their particular cause and concerns either fully acknowledged in a more inclusive manner, or, if need be, bring about the removal of certain words and any related references they tend to imply, from the prevailing altogether public record, as is stands now.

Coincidentally enough, the bulk of this collective body of disgruntled attention is shared by two separate but equally pissed-off segments of the population, each of whom appear overly, if not obsessively, concerned with a certain "H" word (Pass the blame, hold the Holocaust), and its apparent either under use with regards to their own particular well documented contributions to the overall historical concept of just such a word; or, as has been otherwise alluded to from time over the last half-century (and change), the belief that said "H" word is altogether thought to be excessively overused in a self-serving fashion, by those who, as a rule, won't let go, or, apparently insist on appearing in no hurry to ever quite ever forget its brand name connotations.

In other words, an assortment of African-American groups have teamed up with large, undetermined segments of the International Armenian community in an effort to have the word "Holocaust", and all it might allude to and/or imply, officially removed from many existing written works and all future publications, as well.

Unless, of course (either by hook or be crook, if not entirely, unfriendly persuasion) each of these particular protesting groups in fact are allowed to co-op the benefits of the word from this point forward. Especially as routinely utilized by those among the Jewish community still haunted and forever scarred by such a tragically acquired reference point, of sorts.

But, since that's not likely to happen, given the indirect sense of entitlement and necessary reminder such a term has meant for Jewish people all around the world, the, as requested, exorcising of the word from the as it is currently written world might be their only real option.

"I realize of course that those Jews among us have a little bit more history on their side, but still, we didn't come this far in the game just to be denied," said Rev. Al Sharpton, the so-far unofficial point man responsible for the everyday plight of those currently caught up in the grip of on ongoing post-post-post traumatic slave trade syndrome. "Fact is, there seems to be way more than enough Holocaust going on. And since no one is sharing, we're not on the mood to be caring any longer. And will do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, to get rid of the "H" word and put it out in the wood pile with the "N" word" where it belongs.

Needless to say a similar "No Prisoners!" kind of thought is (and has been) echoed by longtime Armenian rabble rouser, Tomaroona "Tommy" Kajukian, who, at the moment, is anxious to see how far he can get climbing though this latest window of opportunity, head first over tea kettle.

"Let it be known that the Armenian people are not going to just sit around and let this never had it/never will, kind of crap be the after thought of all time that turns us into nothing more than a footnote to what has, for so many, been a long and winding dirty secret world of too many tears," warned Kakukian. "Uh-uh, no way, not after the Native American agenda, what with all it's seemingly endless casino power backing them up, having so far prevented us from ever getting a proper taste of the "G" is for Genocide word way of looking at all things."

Adding a certain amount of additional flavor to the African-American/ Armenian connection is the almost like clockwork, immediate outside support coming in quite regularly from an assortment of well know Nazi apologists and previously so inclined Holocaust deniers, who altogether feel much the same way, but from an entirely different angle.

But then, as with most strange (and stranger still) bedfellow causes, somewhere along the way, it almost always comes down to letting whoever wants to get in on the ground floor of your bandwagon bus, hop on accordingly, and quickly look for a seat that, as a rule, is hopefully not too far in back.

Meanwhile, another atypical aspect of this joint effort is the all of a sudden realization among various (otherwise so customarily suspicious of one another) African-American and Armenian-American groups that they now find themselves, at long last, sharing a legitimate piece of common ground. That, for the moment at least, would appear to bind them a little closer, of course, than their already commonly unified belief that Korean and Jewish shopkeepers, store owners, and landlords, more often than not, all suck - particularly the Korean ones.

And, in a more or less semi- related matter, a small yet decidedly determined group of like-minded Jewish organizations have linked up to develop an appropriate response to any such repeated and/or continued threats to their current state of ongoing "H" word compatibility.

Although, entirely sketchy at this point in time, it does appear that even though the initial attempt of an, as yet, undetermined coalition of pro-Jewish/amateur-Zionist sympathizers, may have been to force the Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Board of Governors to demand that Academy Award-winning actress Vanessa Redgrave return her 1977 Best Supporting Actress Oscar - in no small part for her continued support of the Palestinians Liberation Organization, but also due to the fact that many of the protesters still prefer the work Quinn Cummings delivered in a much more substantial role in "The Goodbye Girl" - all necessary future attention along these lines now seems to be directed to the prospect of having the name "Hitler" removed from all written and/or orally documented material pertaining to historical accounting of the Third Reich during its reign of terror campaign throughout Europe and Africa during the 1930s and 1940s.

(Don't worry, kids, it was in all the papers.)

Early indications are that word carefully chosen by this batch of protesters, as a replacement for this particularly dreaded "H" word, is the rather easy on the ears, and safe for the mind name of, "Howard."

However, in a not exactly sound, yet entirely kosher, pre-emptive response to this version of last minute, final cut, editorial removal maneuverings, the law firm of Pushim, Yankim, Pull & Bernstein, representing the collective estates of three of the related Three Stooges, Morris (Moe) Howard, Samuel (Shemp) Howard, and Jerry (Curly) Howard, is quite prepared to seek an injunction which would, for now, both stall, and, in the end, hopefully prevent any otherwise malicious attempts by any individual and/or group of individuals from using the given family surname of their celebrity clients in such a matter so as to possibly allow them to mistakenly be viewed as entirely responsible for an extended campaign of totally inhuman and unlimited personal property destruction.

Or, at least a little more substantial than they were at one time occasionally accustomed to on a, more or less, professional level. Especially, when pies were involved, and one or more of them needed to get konked on the head with a hammer, and/or have their eyes gouged, after having failed somehow to properly wake up and go to sleep.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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