Swing when you're winning - by Tommy Sheridan

Funny story written by paddy stash

Friday, 24 December 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Swing when you're winning - by Tommy Sheridan
useless stinking rat

This reporter is delighted to bring his readers an exclusive first look at Tommy Sheridans autobiography,its not due to hit the shelves at poundland until the new year but we acquired a copy from a rent boy in brighton who had been proofreading.

The government would have you believe that I was born in a hospital,having been lovingly removed from my mothers womb,well don't listen to them...it wasn't me, I was nowhere near her at the time, I was in fact born yesterday.

It wasn't me who grew up and went to school in pollok, I also never saw any family members reported to be around during my childhood,so-called friends cannot prove that I played football with them and enjoyed a contented young life.

I never, I repeat never attend Cardonald College and while I wasn't there did not take a typing course,during my time not there I was successful in bringing fellow militants into the labour party and at no point was I expelled.

As a faithful payer of the council tax you can imagine my surprise at seeing an imposter on TV claiming to be me and organising marches in protest to the ever helpful Tory government, it was during this period I was busy making fluffy bunny toys for the ickle kiddes at the Rupert Murdoch early learning centre.

At some point during the late 90's I decided that the swingers lifestyle was for me and embraced it to the full, I however did not write that, it was not me, I wasn't even in he country during that last sentence,speaking of sentences I am in no way about to begin another long one at her majesty's pleasure and I completely deserve it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more