Isle of Wight News - Letters to a teacher from parents of pupils

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Letters to a teacher from parents of pupils

Mrs. Amoree Limpert, who has taught at Newby Juniors for the past 30 years, recently published part of her enormous collection of letters which she has received over the years, from parents of her pupils.

1. Dear Miss, Can our Susan be exkuzed from p.e. today
coz I'm not feeling well.

from Mrs. Prior

(Written in Susan's handwriting!)

2. Dear Miss Limpert,

Sorry Tommy wasn't in school yesterday. He had the
runs through a hole in his shoe.

Mrs. Turtleboom

3. Hello,

Our John was absent for 2 days because he had dia....
diorhe......dyor.....the runs.

from Johns mam

4. Mrs. Limpert,

Anna just brought home her report and you said
she's not good at sums. Well, she finds those
fractations and decibels really hard.

Can you send some home so I can help her?

Mrs. Brown,
Bank Manager
Newby Royal Bank
High Street,
Newby, Isle of Wight

5. Dear Mrs. Limpert,

Our lad sed to tel you that you'd beter be
nice to our little Jimmy in future, else e won't be
responsibl for is acshuns.

Our little Jimmy said you gave him 2 out of 20 on
is spelin yestiddy and e was cryin is litle eyes owt.
I no he must ave got mor coz we practisst all bloody
week with im.

We just think you don like him coz e as freckls an
wers glases an is nose runs a bit.

Annie Hunt

Mrs. Limpert is putting together a book of letters from parents. Proceeds will go to buying more books for the school library and a new kettle for the staff kitchen.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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