23 Reasons to serve alcohol at work

Written by Inchcock

Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for 23 Reasons to serve alcohol at work
Reason 23 - Employees can copy Members of Parliament

A recent study of working practises within the UK, by the New Labour Gratification Committee, had decided that serving alcohol in the workplace would be beneficial for the following reasons:

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communication.

4. It reduces complaint about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. Makes communication interesting due to mumbling and slurred speech.

8. It encourages car pooling.

9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are sloshed.

14. Sitting on the copy machine will longer be seen as "gross".

15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting is not so embarrassing.

16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

18. Increases your chances of seeing your co-workers drunk and naked.

19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.

21. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

22. A list of 25 reasons, does not have to be 25 long.

23. Employees can then associate with and understand how Members of Parliament conduct themselves.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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