New Carl Paladino E-mails Leaked!

Funny story written by Rick Andrew Carl

Sunday, 20 June 2010


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Carl Paladino press conference

A series of e-mail messages from within the Carl Paladino campaign team were leaked to your correspondent yesterday. They include revealing messages between campaign manager Michael Caputo and two political operatives, Roger Stone and John Haggerty. Paladino is a Republican candidate for Governor of New York.

Haggerty was recently indicted for allegedly stealing over a million dollars from New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's 2009 campaign. This set off a flurry of e-mails between him, Stone and Caputo. Some highlights are below (expletives deleted):

Haggerty: Sorry guys. Didn't think I'd get caught.

Stone: No. Great heist! And you know we'll cover for you.

Caputo: Yeah. We've got your back.

Haggerty: Worried that Paladino will catch on.

Caputo: He's dumber than a rock. We can keep milking him - no problem.

Stone: Just make sure you get the fake signatures so we can get Paladino on the ballot. We can keep the flow going through October.

Haggerty: Thinking I should lower my profile while the criminal thing is going.

Stone: Come on you pussy! It's just an indictment.

Caputo: Once Andy [Cuomo] is elected Al [D'Amato] will take care of this for you.

The e-mails suggest that Carl Paladino is being played by political insiders. In a Buffalo radio interview this morning, Paladino said the latest round of e-mails was "just another liberal smear."

This is the third in a string of e-mail scandals for the Carl Paladino campaign. He was first besieged after a local website published e-mails the candidate had sent including racist jokes, pornography and bestiality. In the second incident, Stone was outed by opposing candidate Warren Redlich after they had engaged in an e-mail discussion with Stone making various threats and dubious promises.

The latest incident was leaked by a supporter, with a note: "I believed in Carl but he's been taken over by these scumbags. Please keep me anonymous. Thanks. Rus."


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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