Penelope sat on her mother's lap and stared into the sky. 'How much more of that fucking football are we having to put up with?'
'Darling' said Mama 'you will offend people if you speak like that against their religion. They will declare an intafada against you and roast you alive.'
'That's better than football. It stinks.'
'It will be over soon, Penelope my sweetheart, and Daddy will become sane again'.
'I doubt it. He's a bloody moron.'
'Now, now. We mustn't speak like that. Your Daddy is very clever.'
'Look, I hate football too but men have this strange urge which they can't control. They have to see other men playing with balls. It is quite natural.'
'Natural, my foot. They are a load of sickos.'
And so the discussion continued but we are not allowed to report any more of this conversation. It would lead to so much crying and blubbering the oceans would overflow and drown us all.