Letters To The Editor - From Call Centre Operatives

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 5 June 2010


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Oh Dear - Not More Of This Nonsense.


What is it with people with queries, and bosses who monitor calls? I used to work in a call centre, and recently some bloke from Bromsgrove rang in to ask the price of them little rubber things you put under castors to protect wooden floors from your furniture wheels. When I looked it up, it was thirty-one ninety nine for six, and you'd need at least two sets for your average piece of furniture. So I told him to cut some tennis balls in half with a Stanley knife and that'd suffice. Plus, it only would have cost him a fiver or so. He seemed happy with that but I got fired because my boss said I was bad for business. I mean, you tell me, because I can't work it out.

Anne Shuttlecock, Fareham.


I am from India. I am Indian. I work in a call centre. I would like to say to readers that I am sick and tired of English speaking peoples continually asking me: "What?"

All the time. Security question - What? Could I please be your home address - What? What would you like me to do for you today? - What?

Even when I explain that it's outsourcing, and that I am perspirating my vag off in Mumbai - What? Sometimes I take piss in Mumbai accent and tell people I am engaged in oral sex act with taxi driver - What? And don't even get me started on computer problems. I decide to take piss out of you bastards on Hindi website. When I not busy running internet scam business matey.

Baras Tulba - Mumbai.


Give us Indian call centre guys a break. We may not have a fucking clue who you are, or what you actually want, but we always try to be polite. Even when we hang up on you because you can't speak the Queen's English. We don't get paid enough to have to deal with scousers, geordies, cockneys or Glaswegians. Especially the Welsh. If it's any consolation, we haven't a clue what most of you time wasting satellite TV addicts are tromping on about either.

Just don't ever call us in a medical emergency.

Shawumbum Shoosh, Mumbai (Wanna be Dubai.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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