40 phrases you don't want to here from a girl friend or spouse

Written by Frog-rotta

Thursday, 15 April 2010


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40 phrases you don't want to here from a girl friend or spouse

1. "Deeper, come on Deeper Dammit!"

2. "Don't worry babe, it's a common thing"

3. "I would love to kiss you but your breath smells"

4. "Don't worry he's just a friend."

5. "I wish I would of married your brother."

6. "Was that your balls I just sat on ?"

7. "leave the seat up one more time and I'm gonna castrate you in your sleep."

8. "It was just meaningless sex hun,... I love you."

9. "My last boyfriend was hung like a friggin horse."

10. "I haven't had an orgasm in THREE YEARS-!!"

11. "I really like you, but you kinda smell."

12. "Stop scratching your balls ,Where in church for Gods sake."

13. "Can we hang your mother tonight"

14. "I've decided to become a hooker."

15. "You didn't flush again shnookems."

16. "Are you ever gonna get a real job?"

17. "Not now hun, I have a yeast infection."

18. "Remember that weekend you went away."

19. "Honey I'm out of tampons, can you go get some for me."

20. "I would love to marry you, but your poor as slop."

21. "Look luv! I got you a year supply of Rogaine, aren't you Happy."

22. "I HATE YOU and your hole Fucking family."

23. "It was collage, everyone was doing it."

24. "I followed the recipe line by line, I don't no what happened. Where does it hurt ? "

25. " Did I ever tell you about the time I bit this guys dick off."

26. "That's my natural scent,Why... you don't you like it ?"

27. "I know your fat bald an unemployed , I love you anyway."

28. "Don't ever call me again Psycho."

29. "You know that new guy at work I was telling you about , He just won the lottery."

30. "I know love is important , BUT I WANT MONEY-!!"

31. "Babe.... I think there's something growing out of your Ass hole."

32. "Merry Christmas sweetie... Ya It's a penis pump, don't you like it ?.

33. "I was thinking about it.... And I see nothing wrong with bestiality."

34. "Before I met you I was a lesbian and happy."

35. "Your mother told me today as a child you used to shit the bed."

36. "I'm not going to tell you the number again it's 90...., 90 guy's OK."

37. "Hun, Guess what...I'm pregnant,..... I KNOW YOU'VE HAD A VASECTOMY-!!

38. "I have to be honest with you, it's just killing me,.... I'm only 16 and 1/2 "

39. "My only regret in life was not killing you off 30 years ago."

40. "Hun I think it's about time we talk about life insurance."

41. "For the last time MY CLITS RIGHT HERE - Ya Freakin MORON."

ok 41. I lied

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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