1 Don't admit that you are Scottish
2 Don't admit that you are the unelected Prime Minister
3 Don't admit you voted for the war in Afghanistan
4 Don't admit there is a war in Afghanistan
5 Don't admit you used to be Chancellor of the Exchequer
6 Don't admit you are not an Old Etonian
7 Don't admit the economy can still go boom and bust
8 Don't mention the economy, stupid
9 Don't admit any knowledge of Tony Blair
10 Don't even mention the war
(I could not count that's why I was Chancellor. Lord Mandelson told me to say that.)
11 Don't admit that Mandelson and Alistair Campbell run the country
12 Don't dwell on Campbell, looks bloody Scottish
