Written by Sandycastle

Friday, 26 February 2010

image for Taylor Lautner Reveals All
Lautner without computer effects.

Everybody loves Taylor Lautner's body. They think it is SO hot. But is it really?

Just today, Taylor revealed to us that his handsome tan and muscular body is FAKE! Turns out that he is a 55 year old man who weighs about 234.34 pounds, in fat. (See image.)

When he is onscreen shooting he is wearing a green screen suit so that they can edit it later.

Kristin Stewart had this to say about Lautner's fake out: "I used to think that his movie body was hot, but when you see his non-movie body you'll realize that it is WAY hotter. His fat often provides me with a bed on the set in between takes!"

Author of the book New Moon, Stephanie Myers says this: "I can't believe they ruined my book. I know it's horrible writing and all, but honestly, this isn't even how Jacob is supposed to look! But I have to admit, his belly is down right comfy!"

There you have it, Taylor Lautner's body is a fake. Guess what, in the next Twilight movie, they won't be having special effects because they're broke. So for the first time we will get to see Lautner's body for real!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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