Taylor Lautner, Jon Gosselin, John Mayer to Star in new Cameron Movie; "Jilted"

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 18 February 2010

image for Taylor Lautner, Jon Gosselin, John Mayer to Star in new Cameron Movie; "Jilted"
Scene from "Jilted". Kate getting ready to push Jon Gosselin down the hill.

Riding the success, and monetary benefits from the movie "Avatar", James Cameron's new project will pluck three faces fresh from recent television media hype, who have recently fallen into the throws of a woman scorned.

Based on stories surrounding Taylor Swift's recent dumping of Lautner, Kate Gosselin's dumping of hubby John, and Jessica Simpson's tossing of Mayer, the script will apparently split the movie into three vignettes, portraying the stupidity of the American Male and the wrath of a pissed off diva.

"The dialog really does write itself", says Cameron's screen writer, Al Mosttru. "Of course we will embellish the descriptions of the events, as men often do, to make the movie more entertaining."

Casting has apparently been a challenge for Cameron, with Lautner, Gosselin and Mayer on board, their individual story counterparts have refused to sign on for the project. "We figured that might happen", says Mosttru, "But we have backup options". Insiders in the Cameron camp indicated that Calista Flockhart will play Taylor Swift. "She's just as skinny though a bit older", says Mosttru. Chloe Kardashian has signed on to play Kate, while Ivanka Trump will play Jessica Simpson. "We'll have to dye Chloe's hair and get her to be a little more bitchy, but we think she's capable of playing that role" says Mosttru.

Critics have already declared that Cameron's project is pure pandering to the tabloid hungry American Market, though Mosttru takes a different perspective. "The man knows how to make money, and that is really all that matters. So get ready to line up at the 3D box office, Bitches."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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