Written by MonkeyInTheBath

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Spacemen from Outer Space part 2
Sorry, something wrong with the signal on this photo

Read this exciting story from the start

Bloated, with their bellies gurgling, Reggie and Ronnie awoke with a burp. They got up and stepped outside their mobile home for a cigarette each.

Reggie had inhaled half of his cigarette before he noticed the vehicle next to them. It looked a lot like their own trailer, but strangely different.

"What the fack is that?" he said.

"Well I don't fucking know!" barked Ronnie. "Must belong to that... thing we ate last night."

Reggie climbed the steps and opened the door. It looked like a trailer, and he still had no idea that the meat he had eaten the previous night was not human (as if that would have made it any more normal!)

Inside was shiny and full of buttons and screens and obscure symbols.

"Wow, Ronnie! Come see this!"

"What! What is it?" she bumbled up the stairs. "Oh shit! Let's go for a fucking drive."

The two settled down and Reggie took what he thought looked like a steering wheel. He pushed a button that he thought looked like a start button and was pleased to hear a whirring sound.

The door clanged shut and in a few seconds the vehicle began to rise up into the air. They were hovering.

"Oh fuck!"

The vehicle angled upwards and shot out of the earth's atmosphere. It entered a high orbit, offering them a great view of their blue-ish planet.

"Oh, for fuck sake, Reggie! It's got surround sound telly, innit? What are we watching? Fucking Sky at Night with Patrick Cuntface Monocle Moore? Change the channel, I hate that shit."

"I don't know Ronnie, it just did that. Felt a bit weird. Maybe this controller will change the channel." He pushed some buttons and the craft rotated to show an empty black space with some faint white spots.

"The signal's dead. Fuck, there must be somefink wrong with their satellite dish."

"Here, I'll try tuning it," Reggie pushed some more buttons and the spots in the background began to move, soon very rapidly. They became lines, giving the illusion of enormous speed.

Of course it was no illusion. Ronnie and Reggie were entering hyperspace and were soon to be returned to the home planet of the strange creature they had devoured the previous Earth day.

What would happen when the two thick-as-pigshit peasants reached the planet of super-intelligent beings? Find out soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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