Snow Causing Trouble for Celebrities

Written by AnThOnY hAyEs

Thursday, 14 January 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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On the run from the Emmerdale Writers

The recent bad weather that has swept the United Kingdom for the past few weeks has caused trouble for many celebrities who are currently in England. Many American celebrities who were visiting England for many different reasons have become stuck in the country.

The first celebrity with a problem is Madonna. Madonna has been begging to be a British citizen and has always tried to say that she is English and deserves to stay in England.

Due to the very severe weather the English government has decided to give her the Citizenship that she has always wanted. this may not sound like a problem at all and that is because it is not her problem. Her problem is that since she was given her citizenship she wanted to move on and bother another country (hahahaha) but because of the weather she cannot get on a plane and leave.

She has decided that she is going to cut a hole in the frozen English Channel, jump in it and then try to swim to France.

Queen Elizabeth 2 has also had some problems. She has had to move to Windsor Castle until the weather gets better. Her problem is that her Corgies have nothingto eat and since the bad weather has started she has had to feed all four of them on Terrorists that she has been keeping locked up in the tower of London.

Talking of terrorists, Osama Bin Laden is also suffering because of the bad weather. He is in London visiting his good friends, Sadam Hussein and Satan (first name unknown). He is now stuck in London at the adress 51 Ecclesbourne Gardens, Palmers Green, N13 5JD.

When it was reported to the CIA, FBI, KKK, FCUK and the crew of Emmerdale, they all responded by saying that their best people are busy except for Emmerdale who said that they will give thier crappy script-writers a break from writing crappy storylines and will send them to catch Bin Laden.

As you will have worked out from this article, the problems do not stop at the normal people. The people that the normal people don't give a shit about are also affected, so please take a look deep inside your heart. Find a spare room in your heart and fill it with dog shit because none of the poeple in this article deserve help, love or hate (they're not worth it).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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