'The USA', a book for 250 million children by Enid Blighter

Written by matwil

Saturday, 9 January 2010

image for 'The USA', a book for 250 million children by Enid Blighter
The Little Israeli House on the Prairie. And thanks for all those jets, and silence about our genocide, guys!

Once upon a time there was a little boy in Hawaii, and that little boy was scared because he didn't know if he was Kenyan or Hawaiian or American or Serbo-Croato-Irish-Martian.

And the boy's mommy moved to the mightiest country in the world, and then went to the USA, and there she married somebody or other with money, boys and girls, and then she sat and thought 'What can I turn my little boy into?'

'Head of a powerful multinational company? No, sounds too much like hard work. A general in the army? I don't want my little boy getting hurt! Let's see ... aha! I'll turn him into a token embarrassment to normal heterosexual hard-working people across the world, people that care nothing about 'minority rights' or the color of their skins, and he will never be anything important and will ponce around in glass boxes and point his finger at cameras a lot. I'll turn him into the 44th. President of the USA!'

And so, little children, the boy soon became that President thanks to his mom, and had lots of holidays around the world, waving and smiling like a good boy at everyone and never noticing that 98% of the world thought he was just a naive little boy with about as much power as a half-asleep sheep. And all the 250 million other sheep that populate the USA were happy, as they thought the boy being President was important - when he was about as important as a packet of low-fat crisps.

So, boys and girls, make sure you have your red, white and blue comfort blanket with you at all times, and never forget - you are 'the most childish and naive country in the world'. Now, it's time to go to sleep, little ones, and don't let the Commies/Muslims/British/Chinese/French/everyone and their dog bite!

Night night, John Boy. Night night, USA.

(Jeez, after 233 years you'd think those Yanks would have learned humour by now! Or irony. Or even satire. If Americans laugh at the British the British agree with them and join in with the fun.

If the British poke fun at America here their articles are edited and censored like this is a primary school. Elementary. If you don't like it change your nation from something that is now a worldwide joke ruled by Israel into what was meant to happen after 1776. Fat chance)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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