Form ICU2 Page 200 of 307
Details of second home: a typical second home we all have
Address of second home: [blank] Castle, Shropshire
Regular Travel Patterns: [blank] Carlo to [blank]; Las [blank] to Reno; the [blank] Islands to Montego [blank]
Names of Anyone Delivering Goods To Home: [blank] and Mason's; Har[blank]'s; lots of servants.
Legitime Expenses for Constituency Work: maintenance work on castle's [blank], planting and upkeep of a forest of [blank] trees, research trips to the Costa del [blank], the French [blank]iera, and to Hong [blank]. 8-course dinners at the [blank] Hotel every week, for self and 23 aides, followed by 3 hours' research into the effects of sparkling wine on the stomach at the [blank] Bar and Grill in [blank] Street.
Employment Expenses: private secretary Miss [blank] [blank], private cleaner Miss [blank] [blank], private bedmaker Miss [blank] [blank], private wife Mrs [blank] [blank], private children [blank], [blank] and [blank], private dog [blank], private yacht cleaner Miss [blank] [blank], private chauffeur Mr [blank], private caviar and toast maker [blank] [blank], and private organiser of Parliamentary expense, Misses [blank] [blank] and [blank][blank]-[blank].
Other Expenses, Because, Well, You Can: endless hand made clothes and shoes, endless foreign holidays, endless foreign fact-finding trips with a secretary or two, endless travelling, eating, buying and consuming, all at taxpayers' expense, and endless paying journalists to quote self saying 'I broke no rules when I was caught', when caught.
Sign Here: Do Not Use the Name Blears or Adams; Do Not Pass Go; Do Not Collect 200; Do Go Direct To Spend More Time With Your Family.
