MP's expenses: Thick black pens being claimed for.

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 19 June 2009

image for MP's expenses: Thick black pens being claimed for.

MP's were under fire again today when it was reported that 2874 thick black felt-tip 'Censor-rite' pens had been claimed for in the last month. Although these are designated as items of stationery, there is doubt about whether they are being used for the benefit of the electorate or the MPs.

One MP, the Right Honourable Monty Bedwetter, was singled out for particular criticism. One of his expenses claims as published today shows 147 pages of blacked-out text, followed by a single line that says 'Total: £142,750 or near offer.'

Mr Bedwetter was unrepentant when we spoke with him. "I am absolutely confident that in my eyes I have done nothing wrong," he told us, "I have even invested in technology from my own pocket to improve the expenses issue and remove the reliance on thick black pens."

He then showed us a receipt for twelve reams of jet-black printer paper.

"If this new system proves successful I may raise the idea of using it for the Iraq Enquiry," he told us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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