Jessica Simpson Shows Her Stuff On New Vanitee Flair

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 8 June 2009


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Not only does Jessica Simpson show off her new "best you can buy" sexy body on Vanitee Flair's June issue, but she answers questions on everything from her ex Nick Lachey to her relationship with her father. Here's a look at the upcoming interview:

Ex-Husband Nick Lachey, and Whether or Not the "Newlyweds" Affected Their Marriage:

"I have not spoken to him in over a year or two and a half. In all honesty, I believe it did not affect our marriage. Because we enjoyed watching those episodes together and sometimes apart, and that will always be a time I cherish, especially the 'apart'. It made me understand what marriage really is, what love is, what commitment is. What....There's a spider! Eewe!"

Her Relationship With Her Father:

"I can talk to my dad like he's my dad and my manager, and put 'Dad' on the back burner. Well, I wouldn't want him to burn himself or anything. You know.

Favorite color? -Red

Favorite number? -42!

Favorite License Plate? -umm, 784-WEB

Chicken? -Rhode Island Red

Dinosaur? -Dino!

Milk? -Cows!

Cubists? -Georges Braque!

Inventor? -Earl of Sandwich

Planet? -TrES-4, a gas giant 1400 light years away in the Constellation Hercules!

Sex? -Yes!

Goose? -Barnacle!

Boob? -Paris Hilton!

Thank you Ms Simpson. -After Sex!

Be sure to read the article because the real sexy part comes later.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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