Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 5 April 2009

image for Madoff pawned Opus Dei ceremonial chalices suit alleges
The cups were 'securitised' with Madoff's hedge fund prior to a lifetime 'leasing' arrangement with Tony Blair

Off-the-Wailing-Wall Street, NY - (Armageddonouttahere Mess): Convicted Ponzi scamner Bernard Madoff is being sued by ultra wingnut TheoCon tossers Opus Dei who are alleging their priceless Holy Land ceremonial artefacts were lost to a TriBeCa pawnbroker in the fraudster's $50 billion hedge fund collapse.

Legend has it the bejewelled 24-carat gold chalices were the very first Holy Land repro antiquities forged at the Knights Templar reliquary in Rennes-le-Chateau.

The cups were 'securitised' with Madoff's hedge fund prior to a lifetime 'leasing' arrangement completion with EU Pastor-General Saint Tony Blair.

But in a lawsuit filed by the sinister organizzation's attorneys this week Madoff's wife Ruth faces seizure of her so-far non-FBI detected offshore bank accounts at Freres Lehman Anonyme PTy, numbered 666-9/11-007-XXX in Curacao.

Also the entire contents of her safety deposit box at the Du Pont Circle branch of the Bad Ass Bank.

The 'missing' security key that unlocks this Pandora's Box of goodies is said to be hidden at the rear of the pictureframe around Madoff's $5 million Chagall painting 'La Putaine et Le Chien'.

Happy Holy Week!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more