- Hire pornographic films on government expenses, then get your husband to take the blame to protect your job
- Buy three houses on taxpayers' money, and fail to declare that you have
- Claim you're tackling crime, then call police to investigate a tea boy publicising your office's gossip, costing the nation millions of pounds
- Claim £300,000 in 'expenses', or what the public call 'theft'
- Ignore the fact that your former boss publicly lied and broke international law to involve Britain in a criminal and illegal war, despite claiming to tackle 'crime'
- Launch a campaign to end violence and sexual assault against women, then go home and watch films with violence and sexual assaults against women
- Give endless self-publicising interviews about everything from football clubs to women's clothing prices, then wonder why the press ridicules you as being hopeless
- Have Britain's worst hairdo, that looks like a weasel in a fight with a nest of red squirrels
- Wake up to the fact that if a woman wants to succeed at politics she has to be smarter and tougher than the men in politics
- Resign
The Jackie Smith Guide To Being Home Secretary In 10 Easy Lessons
Funny story written by matwil
Friday, 17 April 2009

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
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