Once in Royal St. James's city
Stood a lonely football club
Where an owner laid out no money
Like a dog in a manger bed
Ashley was that owner mild
Alan Shearer the little child
He came from the Beeb to Tyneside
Leaving Hansen, Lineker, et al
And his new club was unstable
Never winning bugger all
Geordie fans all must be
Hopeful, incomprehensibly
And our eyes at last shall see him
Through Newkie Brown tinted glasses
For that man's so dull and boring
Only appeals to lads and lasses
As he leads his club straight down
Back into English League One
