New Band Aid single comes out

Written by matwil

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

image for New Band Aid single comes out
Thanks for another £1-50, sucker!

Band Aid reformed today, and quickly brought out a new single. 'Do Bankers Know It's Christmas' is widely expected to top the charts, especially as the latest X-Factor garbage is its only competition, and millions were rushing out today to buy the CD.

And so here are the lyrics of the Band Aid tune:

    'It's Christmas time, there's no need for banks to be afraid
    At Christmas time, we steal your cash and we banish truth

    But in our world of plenty, no wonder we're smiling with joy
    Throw your arms around the Government, at Christmas time

    But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
    That'll be £1-50, £1-50 for using this ATM
    There's a world outside your window
    And it's a world of dread and fear (for investors with us)
    Where the only tears are flowing, are the crocodile ones at your nearest NatWest
    And the Christmas bells that ring here, are our clanging tills of doom
    The greatest gift we'll get is millions of taxpayers' money

    Here's to us, raise a glass to nobody
    Here's to them, there is one born every day
    Do they know what a luxurious Christmas time we'll be having at all?

    Fleece the world
    Fleece the world
    Fleece the world, let them know it's our Christmas time
    Fleece the world, let them know it's our Christmas time

'Send oss yer money now!', shouted a passing Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, before going for dinner in the Bahamas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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