Written by rfreed

Friday, 21 November 2008

image for The Vampire And The Vamp
Ann Coulter Without Her Makeup

The vampire waited ravenously in the dark alley. His thirst was a suction in himself that pulled at every organ. Weakened, he knew he must bring down a woman; he would have a better chance.

Footsteps approached. Female footsteps. What was left of his human heart beat in anticipation of the intoxication of her fluid nourishment.

She passed; he leapt. She stepped back startled. His hands took her head and waist in their iron grasp; his teeth scissored her neck's firm flesh. Being thin her veins were easy to penetrate. In relish he sucked in the life he needed.

He gagged. Pulling back sharply, he gasped "Aaaaah! It's like battery acid!" Fire burned from the burning solvent he had ingested.

"You bastard!" she shreiked, grabbing him and sinking her own teeth into his neck. She drank until he deflated and collapsed.

The stronger had won. Ann Coulter let the emptied vampire fall to the ground, stepping on him and digging in her high heels as she continued on her way. She felt profoundly satiated.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Ann Coulter, vampire




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