Written by Judge Retort

Tuesday, 14 October 2008


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image for ACORN Registers Mickey Mouse
Mickey expresses joy upon successful voter registration - begins stumping for Barack Obama and other cartoon characters.

ACORN executives, each handpicked by Barack Obama, ask the question: "Why shouldn't cartoon characters get to vote? It's bad enough that they're trapped inside TVs in the first place. Should they also be trapped in a world without political representation?"

Here are the 'toons ACORN has recently registered:

'MICKEY MOUSE' - Democrat

'DONALD DUCK' - Republican and Grand Wizard of Orlando KKK

'DAISY DUCK' - Democrat (frustrates Donald to no end by cancelling out his vote each time)

'GOOFY' - Democrat (invented Obama slogan: "CHANGE! AW-HAW!!")

'PLUTO' - Republican

'TINKERBELL' - Democrat (leader of gay/lesbian caucus)

'PETER PAN' - unregistered (God, I wish I was him…)

'CAPTAIN HOOK' - Republican (UK: Torry)

'1ST OFFICER SMEE' - Democrat (conscription for gay/lesbian caucus)

'WENDY' - Democrat (UK: Labor)

'LOST BOYS' - Democrats (UK: Communist Party)

'MERMAIDS' - Libertarians (UK: Communist Party)

'NANA' - Republican (poor Nana..)

'CHIP AND DALE' - Democrats (co-leaders of gay/lesbian caucus - Their original artist: Barney Frank before he got into politicians.. I mean, politics.)

'ALADIN' - Democrat


'THE SULTAN' - Republican

'JAFAR OBAMA' - Democrat

'GENIE' - Islamic Jihad

'BAMBI' - Green Party

'LILO' - Democrat (but too high from Maui Wowie to ever figure out an Hawaiian voting machine)

'STITCH' - Republican (Grand Wizard of KKK on the Big Island)

'BEAUTY' - Republican

'THE BEAST' - Democrat (Grand Wizard of KKK for France)

'WINNIE THE POOH' - Democrat (duh?!) (UK: Labor)

'CHRISTOPHER ROBIN' - Catamite Emancipation League (Original artist: Michael Jackson)

'PIGLET' - Democrat (UK: Labor)

'RABBIT' - Republican (UK: Torry)

'TIGGER' - Communist Party (UK: same)

'Owl' - Republican (UK: Torry)

'EEYORE' - too depressed to be registered; even by ACORN

'SNOW WHITE' - Democrat

'SIX DWARVES' - Republicans

'DOPEY' - Democrat (KKK Grand Wizard of the forest)

'TARZAN' - Libertarian

'JANE' - Green

'101 DALMATIANS' - Republicans, every last one

'CRUELLA' - Republican in the '30's; switched to Democrat Party in the '60's after discovering sex/pot/LSD/Beatles, you name it - she did it/him/her

'LION KING' - Republican

'SIMBA' - Democrat

'SCAR' - Democrat (registered Simba)


'KING TRITON' - Olympic Republican

'LADY' - Democrat

'TRAMP' - Democrat Democrat Democrat Democrat Democrat (registered each time by ACORN)

'RATATOUILLE' - French Communist Party

'WALL-E' - Microsoft wing of the Communist Party


'PRINCE' - Royalist

'Maleficent/DRAGON' - Blue Dog Democrat

'CINDERELLA' - Libertarian

'EVIL STEP MOTHER' - Republican


'MICE' - Democrats

'LUCIFER THE CAT' - Republican

'FAIRY GODMOTHER' - Democrat (logistics coordinator for gay/lesbian caucus)

'BUGS BUNNY' - Independent ("Meyeeeeeh, what's up, B'rack??")

'DAFFY DUCK' - Republican

'ELMER FUDD' - Democrat and Grand Wizard of Illinois KKK

'ROAD RUNNER' - Libertarian

'WILE E. COYOTE' - Acme Party

'TWEETIE BIRD' - conservative by nature; but always votes Democrat

'SYLVESTER' - liberal by nature; and always votes Democrat

'FOG HORN LEGHORN' - Southern Democrat

'MICHAEL SAVAGE' - New York Swingers Party (What???!!! You didn't know he was a cartoon, you schmuck?! That's unbelievable to me!!)

'RUSH LIMBAUGH' - Republican (founded the party - also appears as John McCain, George Bush, Ronald Reagan, Abraham Lincoln, and masquerades as Congressman Henry Waxman after too much Viagra, every damned time!)


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Cartoon, ACORN

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