Huckabee Discusses Creationism

Funny story written by Rob Bruce

Saturday, 24 November 2007

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Washington, USA -- Candidate Mike Huckabee is running full steam ahead toward the first January Primaries. The former baptist preacher sat down with me to discuss his beliefs about creation and evolution in light of recent reports about how his beliefs may hurt him in the upcoming election.

Bruce: You believe in creationism 100%?

Huckabee: Two Hundred.

Bruce: That's quite a firm commitment.

Huckabee: Yes it is.

Bruce: So you believe that the earth is six thousand years old only?

Huckabee: I know it. There's a lot of chatter about what I believe, and I just want everyone to know that it's not that out of line with what most American's believe, the God fearing one's I mean.
Bruce: What about the fossil evidence and proof of millions of years of dinosaur bones and plant fossils all scientifically dated.

Huckabee: There are two schools of thought there. The first of course is that our dating methods are wrong, that our technology is foolishness to God and that Dinosaurs roamed the earth with the early prophets in the old Testament and were all killed in the flood. The other school states that God created the earth from remnants of other planets and all these really old fossils are actually remains from other planets.

Bruce: which is your belief.

Huckabee: The first one.

Bruce: And you don't think that Americans who have any understanding of science at all will scoff at you?

Huckabee: Scientists are all athiests and will try to brainwash you into thinking that we were all just monkeys once. Scientific Americans are not God-fearing Americans.

Bruce: You keep saying God-fearing. Why should I fear God? Isn't he a kind and loving God.

Huckabee: He is a kind and loving God providing you are a Christian, primarily evangelical. If you're not you will burn in fire and Brimstone in Hell forever and ever.

Bruce: I'm not an evangelical Christian, does that mean I will burn in hell forever?

Huckabee: In fire and Brimstone, yes it does. But you can change.

Bruce: I see. Well thank you for your time Mr. Huckabee.

Huckabee: Thank you. Have a very pleasant day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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