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Funny story: Keeping Your Heart Cold and Frozen Inside Still Best Choice According To Report

Keeping Your Heart Cold and Frozen Inside Still Best Choice According To Report

After analyzing massive amounts of statistical data, the University of Wisconsin-Madison recently released a report that the best option any person has in life, is to keep his or her heart 'completely cold' and 'protected' as they travel through the...

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Funny story: Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

According to a recent report from the National Institute of Health, in this age of mass shootings, climate chaos and downward-spiraling human health, an increasing number of Americans have opted to undergo a cutting-edge elective procedure known as c...

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Funny story: Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

Fart smellers may be smart fellas after all: smelling farts can reduce disease, study

HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...

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Funny story: Ripping Out Heart Better Than Lethal Injection

Ripping Out Heart Better Than Lethal Injection

Dr. Joseph Mangele of Yale University, authority of Aztec culture and society, has written a book justifying capital punishment. He argues that when the state murders, in both societies, the ulterior motive is to maintain order and to sustain the pow...

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Funny story: BBC Heartbeat to Return With No Yorkshire Characters At All

BBC Heartbeat to Return With No Yorkshire Characters At All

In the new series of Yorkshire Moors based police drama Heartbeat, the actors are all to speak with regionless accents, a BBC spokesperson said this morning. "The majority of viewers for dumbed down rubbish like this are from London and the Home Coun...

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Funny story: Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

Owning a dog good for the heart: RISK

New studies have shown that owning a dog can be good for your heart, but has the risk of exposing you to malodorous digestive byproducts commonly produced in the large intestine when certain bacteria are present in combination with certain foodstuffs...

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Funny story: Celebrity heart transplant patient ready to leave hospital

Celebrity heart transplant patient ready to leave hospital

Mr Alf Fosset has made a speedy recovery after undergoing a heart transplant last month. The 55 year old Slather Polisher from West Ham had undergone extensive tests before the procedure could go ahead. He had been waiting two years before gettin...

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Funny story: Just Exactly Whose Heart Was Transplanted Into Dick Cheney's Chest?

Just Exactly Whose Heart Was Transplanted Into Dick Cheney's Chest?

News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Halliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker because of the difficulty of finding a heart evil...

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Funny story: John Edwards' Life-Threatening Heart Condition Revealed: He Has No Heart

John Edwards' Life-Threatening Heart Condition Revealed: He Has No Heart

A federal judge granted a delay in John Edwards' criminal corruption trial Friday, disclosing that the former presidential candidate has a life-threatening heart condition, a court source confirmed. Edwards appeared at Friday's open hearing in Nor...

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Funny story: Palaxo-Kime announces new more accurate blood pressure cuff

Palaxo-Kime announces new more accurate blood pressure cuff

Paris, France - Dr. Tod S. Quishit of the Swiss Palaxo-Kime pharmaceutical company made a stunning announcement at the annual Paris Hypertension conference yesterday. Palaxo-Kime has just published a study showing that current blood pressure cuf...

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Funny story: Cheney Seeks Treatment for Black-Heart

Cheney Seeks Treatment for Black-Heart

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL- The immediate family of Dick Cheney answered questions Sunday about the therapy sessions the former Vice President has been undergoing. "He's just seemed so emotionally vacant the last few years. I knew we had to try somet...

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Funny story: Heart Attack Rates Up In England, U.S.

Heart Attack Rates Up In England, U.S.

For some reason, the World Health Organization has checked and rechecked their numbers and they have concluded that England has the highest percentage of heart attack victims in the world with the United States coming in a close second. "So far we...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson's Heart was left in San Francisco

Michael Jackson's Heart was left in San Francisco

Even after his death you can't keep Michael Jackson out of the news, as sensational breaking news is just in today, that Jacksons heart was removed from his body after his death, and taken to a secret location in San Francisco and buried. A San Fr...

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Funny story: Scientists develop realistic artificial heart

Scientists develop realistic artificial heart

Immediately after scientists announced the availability of the new heart, they received special visitors John McCain and Barack Obama. Both began arguing over who should get the heart. McCain claimed that he needed it because his was so old. Oba...

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Funny story: Feeling Grinchy? Celebrate Your Heart of Coal as the Holidays Approach

Feeling Grinchy? Celebrate Your Heart of Coal as the Holidays Approach

Bah Humbug! Sometimes you just want to be a grinch. Celebrate your inner grinch by being a grouch and frowning on the festive glow of the holidays.

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Funny story: Surgeons' startling discovery: Cheney Has No Heart!

Surgeons' startling discovery: Cheney Has No Heart!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - Dick Cheney went under the knife for a replacement battery for his defribulator.

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Funny story: It's Holy Week and AskFrFred$$giveness

It's Holy Week and AskFrFred$$giveness

AskFrFred$$Giveness has decided to abandon the more literal 44 4 the $ that is really at the heart of most religion...

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