Dear P4G,
There's a pair of pups right outside the front porch of our old Kentucky home and they appear to be stuck together in a rather embarrassing position.
We haven't told our children the facts of life yet but the squeals and grunts from the doggie-style duo will soon make the subject unavoidable.
We've tried everything to get them apart from hot water to superglide sex lube which one of my kiddies was using on his skateboard wheels.
Nothing seems to help the poor souls. My Jethro feels so bad for them, he watches with compassion for hours at a time. What can we do?!
Stuck with Hot Dogs in Frankfort, KY
Dear SWHDFKY,
You and Jethro and the clan are witnessing a relatively common sexual phenomenon known as vaginissimus. These Frankfort hot dogs have got a frankfurter stuck in a seriously tight bun!
Hot water just caused more stress, the superglide sexlube needed to be applied before not after, Jethro's sympathetic leering is just causing more tension on the bun and the doggie's dog.
May I suggest that you, Jethro and the superglide gang just remove yourselves from the scene of the canine sex crime. Go to Bible Meeting or take that superglide into your cabin's master bedroom and do some doggy-style of your own. Before you get to the final hymn or the last My God! Rover will have gotten his cocktail frank out of foo-foo's foo foo and you'll either be aglow or in afterglow!
P4G
