Dubious, The Naked Truth - The Wondiferous Suit

Written by Vince Williams

Saturday, 3 February 2007

Once upon an early century time (as viewed by those who are eminently possessed of 20/20 perspective), there was an "emperor" whose abilities with thinking complex concepts and causal relationships were notably abridged at best and generally completely lacking and dreadful.

The emperor's name was George Dubious Botch who, during all waking hours and some dreaming ones as well, held in his mind the unflinching notion that he was right, right, right. In fact his political party was often referred to as the GAP (Grand Arrogant Party) because of its irksomely stubborn conviction about its own goodness, morality, probity, rectitude, and cosmic virtue. Moreover, George Dubious believed in his very heart (as well as his spleen) that his principle adVICEer, Richard of the Chains, being a long-time adherent to said party, could do no wrong and had good ideas besides.

And so, mainly on the advice of Richard (who often scrupled not to reward his obscenely wealthy corporate cronies), as well as HIS DE-FENCE chief, Robert OPENtheGATES, it came to pass that a quirky CONCEPT for fighting TERRORISM (titled THE IRAQ ATTACK) was undertaken, one that benefited inordinately the exorbitantly rich as well as the very wealthy. Now among those who certainly reaped the benefit of such a windfall deluge, one who liked to lisp "My Emperor is always right, right, right" was a clothier who pledged to the emperor that he would design and donate a wondrous and splendiferous new set of clothes. The clothier fondly called his new suit design, THE STAYtheCOURSE SUIT [UM, check that: "THE NEW WAY FORWARD" suit]. The threads of this suit were to be SO phenomenal, SO remarkable, SO unique, SO expensive and SO invaluable (which is the same thing as VALUABLE) as to be completely invisible (a clever ruse calculated to by-pass the notice of those who, like sheep, WISHED to keep their eyes covered.)

Well, time passed, as time frequently is well-wont to do, and at length the suit was ready. Dubious was thrilled! He announced there would be a parade in which he would wear this new suit for ALL TO SEE and admire; and the parade route, symbolizing his "STAYtheCOURSE" theme, [OOPS! "NEW WAY FORWARD"] would go around and around the same city block

Soon the day for the parade arrived, and true to his "right, right, right" word, there was Emperor Dubious riding along IN PLAIN VIEW proudly sporting his phenomenal, remarkable, unique (albeit invisible) NEW STAYtheCOURSE suit. Media, both national and international, were there to pundit (and PUNNED it they did: some calling the suit ... I GUESS it was in reference to the suit: "Much ado about nothing NEW").

Members of the GAP party spoke of its wondrous lines and even more "wonDERous" (although mispronounced) color. Opponents, however, took a different view ("DIM" I think we could say). Indeed they were SUITABLY chagrined and (EXCEPT for a few jokers in the crowd who sang "Happy Birthday"), it's not too hyperbolic to add, downright embarrassed.

[to be continued (the story, NOT the emperor)]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more