Written by King David

Thursday, 16 November 2006

RESEARCH TRIANGLE PARK, NC--You've heard of pocket stud finders--magnets that carpenters and handymen use to find the studs in your walls. And water depth finders fishermen use to know how deep they are fishing. Well, now there's something a little different.

Retailers today report that demand for a new product has been sweeping the nation. Women and men have been going out in droves to buy the new, Ron Co. Pocket Feeling Finder. The Ron Co. Pocket Feeling Finder is designed to help men find their feelings. It does this quickly and easily in one step without one and two-day delays.

"It has saved us so much time," says customer Sally Stride. "We used to get into conversations that would have to be continued for days because it would take his feelings so long to catch up with him."

Feeling Finder also takes all the guess work out of feelings. In this day and age of precision it is important to know exactly how you feel.

And, like everybody else, feelings are also very specialized. Advanced models of the Feeling Finder can name over 250 feelings. This is much better compared to the basic model that reads only 25.

Advanced models also have an attached meter that registers on a scale of 1-10 the degree to which a feeling is being felt. "Try to figure that one out in a hundredth of a second," says salesman Tony Lambatta.

It also allows men who are ambivalent, or torn between several competing feelings to identify all of their feelings without leaving any out or having to choose.

"In short, it helps us to live closer to the truth," says researcher and developer Sue Smith.

The Ron Co. Pocket Feeling Finder was originally developed by men who were tired of being asked by their wives how they were feeling and could never come up with a sufficient answer. Now, women have taken over the reins because they see the tremendous advantage it provides everyone.

"Having a Feeling Finder is like have an instant judge in my pocket," one man said. When she doesn't believe me, all I have to do is show her the reading on my Feeling Finder. And Wham! It's like magic!"

The lightweight Feeling Finder works like a gauge and can be carried just about anywhere. All you need is a plug and a pocket. A man can stop anytime during the day and get a reading for how he is feeling.

"I used to dread having to wait for my feelings to catch up with me. Now, all I have to do is say, 'Can you give me a minute?" one man said.

Retailers are promoting the Ron Co. Pocket Feeling Finder this Christmas season as a great stocking stuffer for that special person in your life. The Ron Co. Pocket Feeling Finder can be purchased at any department store selling men's accessories. The price is just that of a session of psychotherapy.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Research, water, fishing

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