Gaga's Meat Dress Mystery brings Ellen into Questioning by Police

Written by Al12

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

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steak

In the early hours of Monday, August 6, 2011 the NYPD responded to a phone call from Lady Gaga claiming there was a robbery in her apartment. A screen window had been removed and glass was broken leading from the balcony to the inside.

Gaga claimed to reporters that she had been woken up to a howling pack of dogs on her balcony where a piece of cured flank steak had been discovered. She was also extremely shocked to find out that her pillow had disappeared mysteriously.

"I couldn't find my pillow last night so I decided my meat dress would serve as a good cushon," the singer had reported to police.

The problem was that it had disappeared from her room that night by an unknown intruder. Witnesses claim they caught sight of a slim, short-blonde haired woman in jeans with a large pack of unknown filling stuffed down her shirt. She reportedly had a frying pan in her left hand and was running from Gaga's apartment onto a Brooklyn sidestreet with dogs chasing her.

An anonymous New York City paparazzo was later caught photographing a presumably vegan Ellen Degeneres eating a romantic steak picnic dinner with her partner, Portia De Rossi a few hours later in Central Park. "Ellen was polite and sweet offering me a piece of meat as long as I didn't let the truth slip to the media that she wasn't vegan... oops."

Eventually, Ellen did confess to committing the crimes of breaking an entry and theft but she just couldn't resist that juicy steak.

"I admit I am a closet meat-lover, well not-so-closet anymore" Ellen fessed up.

On the other hand, Miss Meat Dress Wearer (aka Lady Gaga) was initially frustrated when her meat dress disappeared since it was supporting her neck at the time:

"I couldn't believe Ellen would do such a thing after lecturing me about animal rights and giving me a kale bikini, but at least now we see eye-to-eye on this issue."

"I am unsure yet of what to wear to this year's MTV VMAs, but I'm only hoping that Ellen doesn't lecture me about it then eat the costume itself."

After awhile the two women did reconcile and Gaga informed Ellen that she's welcome into her apartment whenever she wants as long as there's a steak shared between them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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