Rob Pattinson Denies The Rumor That He And Sofia Vergara, Star of 'Modern Family' Were Canoodling Under The Stars At Malibu Beach

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 27 July 2011


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Rob Pattinson Denies The Rumor That He And Sofia Vergara, Star of 'Modern Family' Were Canoodling Under The Stars At Malibu Beach
Sofia Vergara is Colombia's best export since Shakira. (Photo courtesy of Rob Pattinson).

MALIBU BEACH - The star of the Twilight motion pictures has recently been linked to the very gorgeously endowed Colombian actress Sofia Vergara.

Vergara stars on the number one sit-com in America Modern Family. Earlier this year the show won four Emmy Awards. It captured the Emmy for Best Comedy, Best Writing, Best Use Of A Female Cast Members Breasts, and Funniest Gay Couple With A Cute Little Adopted Vietnamese Baby.

The last two categories were only added this year by a vote of the Emmy Guild Members Union. The vote on the Breasts Emmy was 7,793 to 42, and the vote on the Little Adopted Vietnamese Baby was 3,931 to 3,904.

RPattz first met Vergara when the two appeared in Manolo Middlezuck's motion picture The Vampire Diaries - The Erotically Titillating Movie.

The film also starred Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder who appear on the cable television vampire series The Vampire Diaries.

Nina divulged that she noticed that Rob and Sofia hit it off right away and kind of fell for each other at first sight. Sofia told Nina that she was attracted to Rob's British accent and Rob told Ian that he was attracted to Sofia's Colombian bazongas (snuggle pups).

Hollywood Innuendo reporter Fajita San Guacamole reported that she spoke with Pattinson and asked him about the rumor that he and Vergara had been seen canoodling outside his Malibu Beach house.

RPattz denied it saying that although it is true that Sofia did visit his $2.2 million beach house known as Vampire Villa, he wanted it made perfectly clear that he and Sofia spent the entire 24 hours inside.

He then added that not once did either he or her go outside except for about two minutes to talk to Beach Boy Brian Wilson who just happened to be walking by carrying his guitar and a six pack of Coors Light.

Fajita San Guacamole will stay on top of the story and bring you any further developments in the developing story of Rob Pattinson and Sofia Vergara.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more