Camden's Hawley Arms warned patrons of 'toxic smack' amid Amy Winehouse RIP

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 23 July 2011

image for Camden's Hawley Arms warned patrons of 'toxic smack' amid Amy Winehouse RIP
Amy at the Roundhouse last month

London - Her favorite bar stool is draped in back silk tonight with the legend 'Amy Winehouse 1983-2011' in gilt (sic) letters confirming the tragedy.

At her favorite NW1 watering hole this evening the atmosphere is grim as news of her death rocks North London's Candyland.

"Yep, we passed on the cops' warning about some dodgy gear doing the rounds," barman Skanky Dave told reporters, "we told 'em don't touch it with a bargepole, luv.

"Not that there's any dealing on our licensed premises, mostly it's those tossers in the Lock's noodle stalls...

"Her barstool? It's one she fell off most often when she was falling off the proverbial wagon," Skanky added, "probably as recently as last Wednesday night."

The Camden Lock pub, in deep mourning at news of Amy's sudden tragic death, will stage a wake next week ahead of funeral arrangements being announced.

A Camden-wide commemorative pub crawl is also being organised as a mark of respect to one of the area's biggest boozers.

Blake Fielder-Civil is 31.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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