American Idol Bombshell: Jennifer Lopez Will Not Be Returning To The Hit Show

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 6 July 2011

image for American Idol Bombshell: Jennifer Lopez Will Not Be Returning To The Hit Show
J.Lo said she will just concentrate on making cosmetic commercials and not having to cry so much anymore.

HOLLYWOOD - A highly placed source in The American Idol family has revealed that Jennifer Lopez will not be returning for season eleven of the hit reality show.

The source, who spoke on grounds of anonymity, stated that the choice is strictly J.Lo's since the shows producer Simon Shindlebocker has recently remarked to Tequila Tallyho of Left Coast Mirror Magazine that he was extremely pleased with the way Miss Lopez handled herself throughout the season.

He also added that she received ten times more fan mail than the other two judges Randy "The Black Dawg" Jackson and Steven "Lips" Tyler combined.

J.Lo once confessed to the shows host Ryan Seacrest that each week she received about 1,000 requests for autographed photos of her butt.

Shindlebocker expressed that even the shows Assistant Producer Kyle Boot who is on the somewhat gay side expressed to him that he is sure going to miss gazing upon J.Lo's perfectly shaped, gorgeously sexy legs.

AI's Director Simon Whitleywine also noted that all of the entire crew was thrilled at being able to see first hand and up close what they all consider to be the most perfect butt in all of Hollywood.

Seacrest said that when it comes to butts, J.Lo has them all beat including the three Kardashian sisters.

When Jennifer Lopez was contacted by Miss Tallyho to explain her reason for leaving the top rated show she simply said that she just got tired of crying.

It is no secret that Lopez is a very sensitive Latina woman who felt bad when she had to tell one of the young contestants that their singing was just not all that.

Jennifer said that she was the direct opposite of Simon Cowell, who was known on the American Idol set as "The Sultan of Sarcasm."

The New York City born Puerto Rican also said that she wants to devote more time to making cosmetic commercials for eye liner, mascara, lipstick, blush, rouge, and vaginal creams that are very, very lucrative money wise.

She added that she is also getting into making car, truck, motorcycle, and even helicopter commercials.

Lopez did say that there were two other reasons why she had decided not to return but that she did not want to embarrass Jackson or Tyler so she said she would just let it go.

She did smile and added that if she were to reveal the two reasons it would put American Idol in the precarious situation of having to replace "The Black Dawg" and "Lips" as well after her husband Mark Anthony's Miami Mafia Muchachos got through with the two [EXPLETIVES DELETED].

Tequila asked J.Lo who she would like to see replace her. She thought about it for a few moments and said that she has three women in mind; Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and Shakira.

Left Coast Magazine will stay with the story and bring you any up-to-the-minute late-breaking developments.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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