Charlie Sheen's Last Goddess Walks Out On Him - Sheen Demands She Return The $100,000 Mercedes-Benz

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 2 July 2011

image for Charlie Sheen's Last Goddess Walks Out On Him - Sheen Demands She Return The $100,000 Mercedes-Benz
Part of the $1.8 million per week salary that Charlie Sheen stupidly, stupidly gave up for what?

SHERMAN OAKS - It appears that Charlie "Tiger Blood Boy" Sheen has now ended up Goddessless as his last goddess Natalie Kenly has walked out of his intergalactic life.

Sheen who was making $1.8 million per week on the then top rated sit-com Two and A Half Men is now reportedly close to having to go on unemployment and applying for food stamps.

In a textbook example of the old adage you don't know what you have till its gone, Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen has seen his luxuriously rich, rich world virtually crumble down around him brick by brick, drink by drink, line by line, cliché by cliché.

Sheen has not only fallen off of the top of the celebrity heap he is now actually sloshing around in the celebrity cesspool with the likes of [FIVE NAMES DELETED BY THE PROOFREADER].

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I am including the initials of the cesspool dwellers; CL, ADC, GG, JP, and BBT.]

Meanwhile the actor who is on the fast track to soon becoming a Jeopardy question told Taffeta Kixx of iRumors that he wants for the skank formerly known as Goddess Natalie to return his 2011 Mercedes-Benz.

He said that she can keep all of the Victoria's Secret underwear he bought for her plus the imported South African silver earrings, the imported designer Italian stiletto high heels, and the imported Danish strap-on.

Taffeta stated that Carlitos, as his father calls him, said that if Natty the backstabbing she-devil ho from hell wants to keep the car that's fine with him just as long as she pays his the $100,000 he paid for it.

Charlie "The Broken Machine" Sheen said that when he gave her the car, it was with the clear understanding that it was because she, like him, was a 'Winner.'

But now that she has left him, she has proven that she is now a 'Loser' and as they say in Brooklyn, "Hey beatch, da car chee comsa back to a me, capiche?"

Meanwhile Natalie is insisting that the car was an out and out gift which was given to her in exchange for her putting up with Sheen's outlandish rants, his out-of-control raves, and his childish first degree BS.

Sheen yelled out, "An out and out gift? - my funky, stupid, space cadet ass!"

According to a very close inside source, Taffeta Kixx was told that Natalie Kenly has already put the $100,000 Mercedes-Benz up for sale on eBay for $99,997 or best offer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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