Pop SInger Madonna has lost a lawsuit where she was sued for plagiarism. In an international court, the decision was announced today that Madonna stole material from early stripper and singer Gypsy Rose Lee. The stripper, now 94 years old, sued because, "I was the original skank on stage. I was the first slut out there! This wanna be has been trying to steal my thunder for over 20 years. People still paid good money to see me take my clothes of and be a sleazebag until I was in my 80's and retired. She's around 50 and no one wants to see her sorry, saggy breasts any more. She tried to copy all of my gyrations and movements and I'm finally fed up and sick of it. You remember those pointy bras of hers? I wore them first in the 40's. You remember how she wanted her Poppa to stop preaching? My Momma preached at me for years. You remember how she made a lot of really bad movies? I made a lot of really bad movies first. Everything this woman does is to try to copy me!"
"Madonna hasn't known what it was like to be Like a Virgin since she was twelve years old hustling for lunch money on the playground. She was never Desperately Seeking Susan, she was desperately seeking sex. She co-starred in Dick Tracy; do I really need to make the obvious pun? She was type cast as Evita Peron, another whore who got famous and who should sue her too, if she wasn't already dead."
When asked if she was going to sue all of the other female strippers or pole dancers for copying her moves, Lee replied in the negative. "Nah, they don't have any money. Madonna has made millions using my style, so I went after her. If any of the others get famous, I'll sue them too. Next week, I'm filing on Britney Spears, Cristina Aguilera, and Shakira. I'll show those little tarts who they can and can't rip off artistically!"
Madonna's only comment on the whole situation was, "I really thought she was dead. Who knew?"