One of American Idol's Top Favorites, Jacob Lusk, Told To Turn Down His 'Ebeneezer Baptist Bravado' A Notch

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 24 March 2011

image for One of American Idol's Top Favorites, Jacob Lusk, Told To Turn Down His 'Ebeneezer Baptist Bravado' A Notch
American Idol musical director Malik "Bongo" Diddlefaust. (Photo courtesy of Julianne Hough).

LOS ANGELES - One of this years American Idol contestants who has become an early on favorite and the choice of many AI viewers to make it to the finals is Jacob "Smiley Face" Lusk.

But Lusk has been told by the shows producers that he needs to tone down his 'Ebeneezer Baptist Bravado' down a notch.

Jacob says that he understands where the producers are coming from and he does not look at it at all as being a racist remark as the Reverend Al Sharpton, rap singer Kanye West, former View panelist Star Jones, and her of the dreadlocks Whoopi Goldberg have all suggested.

Lusk knows that when he has a choir of 24 singers performing on stage with him that it kind of has a tendency of taking away the focus from him.

He was told that this year's best girl singer Pia Toscano stands out there all by herself and sings the heck out of the songs without the benefit of a 24 member choir.

Jacob said that he is also trying to lose some weight. He says that he has been on The Hot Sauce Diet for the past five days and he has already managed to lose 13 pounds.

He said that he was turned on to the diet by Karen Rodriguez, who was eliminated on last week's 'Results Show.' Jacob said that Karen who presently weighs a svelte 119 pounds, two years ago weighted 303 pounds.

But she went to a Taco Bell in Brooklyn and spoke to the manager about having him recommend a diet that she could try to lose at least 90 pounds on.

Paco Del Paco III, the restaurant manager, informed her about The Hot Sauce Diet and told her that if she were to go on it she could probably lose about 90 pounds in three months.

Karen went on it and she ended up losing 184 pounds in six months as her weight dropped from 303 to 119.

Jacob Lusk did check with the official American Idol doctor to make sure that if he loses 50 or so pounds that the sudden weight loss will not affect his voice in any way, shape, or form.

Earlier in the week there was a rumor going around the American Idol set that the youngest AI contestant Thia Megia was actually 12, instead of 16.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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