Britney Spears denies being touched up

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 31 March 2011

image for Britney Spears denies being touched up
Was she touched up?

The public relations company for Britney Spears has denied that the pop songstress was touched up for the cover of her latest album, Femme Fatale.

Appearing days after the photoshoot for the album cover on Letterman's show in America, the pop idol looked several kilos heavier.

"Britney needed to put weight on ahead of her Femme Fatale tour," said Justin Side, Hollywood PR guru. "Tours take a lot out of singers, and she needed to bulk up by eating pies and drinking sugar laced coffee."

The PR company state that Britney's extensive exercise regime allows her to lose weight quickly for such things as photo shoots and public appearances. Once they are completed, she returns to her more usual ninety-six pounds.

"Britney is one of the most dedicated people in show business," said Side. "She takes her responsibilities very seriously. Unlike other pop stars, she believes that if she was super skinny constantly it would project the wrong image to her young female fans. Kate Moss has been blamed for an anorexia epidemic, and Britney would like to portray a more positive body image. However, the record label insist that she is as slim as possible for her album covers to entice fathers into buying the albums for their daughters."

Although in the past, Britney has admitted that she has been touched up, she maintains that for the Femme Fatale album, no airbrushing was used. However, photo expert, Pete Shopro, believes the evidence of his eyes instead.

"If you examine the picture very closely," said Shopro, "as I have done for endless hours, you can see evidence in the blurring of the edges of her arms and legs where they have been shrunk. Additionally, if you compare these to the photos of her on stage just days afterwards, as I have done in minute detail, especially around her thigh area, you can see the difference in skin tone."

After having a quiet moment to himself, Shopro continued: "In her publicity shots, she has flawless skin, but there are definite dimples around her neck. I don't know why they are denying it. I wouldn't mind touching up Britney."

"Nonsense," said Side in response. "Admittedly, we did use quite a lot of concealer in the photo shot, but that is normal. You cannot wear that amount of make-up on stage, you would get too hot."

With neither side backing down, the controversy looks likely to rage on until Victoria Beckham gives birth.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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