MALIBU BEACH - Charlie Sheen speaking from his house on Malibu Beach has instructed his attorney to start working up the paperwork just in case the Japanese Tsunami hits Malibu Beach.
Sheen is contending that nature has unleashed this horrendously catastrophic watery thingy because of the fact that CBS fired him and he has now been forced to join the ranks of the unemployed.
Charlie, who has recently been using lots of long words on his Internet show "Sheen's Korner," said that if CBS had not fired him this whole weather travesty would not have occurred.
He took a sip of his Tiger Blood drink and a puff from his Marlboro Light cigarette and revealed to Tittle Tattle Tonight's Skippy Viperwater that this weather phenomena clearly shows just exactly how much power Chuck Lorre the creator, writer, and producer of Two and A Half Men has.
Charlie went on to say that he will personally be texting President Barack Obama sometime today and ask that Chuck Lorre be investigated by the FBI, the CIA, and the IUD.
One of Charlie's two "Girlfriend Goddesses" has stated that Charlie is so upset about the whole sordid mess that he is seriously thinking about moving up to Alaska where everything is nice and peaceful, except of course for the fact that it is the home state of Sarah "Crosshairs" Palin.
Tittle Tattle Tonight will stay on top of this breaking news and inform everyone whenever more news breaks or whenever Charlie Sheen opens his mouth and spouts some more Sheenesque gibberish.