COEUR d’ ALENE, Idaho – (Satire News) – Goldfish first became quite famous and sought after when the motion picture “Attack of The Flesh-Eating Goldfish,” first came out in the summer of 1957. The movie starred Rock Hudson, Doris Day, John Wayne,…
Despite many attempts, #BarryBlobfish still hasn't trended on Twitter. Blobfish, known for their comedic miserable expressions and pinkness are not the most attractive of creatures, as Barry a Blobfish of quite an upbeat and even temperament point…
MARA-a-LAGO - (Satire News) - One of the maids, who works for the Trumps at their Florida mansion told a reporter with iRumors that Melania is extremely upset. The maid, who said that she was originally from Mozambique, but is as white as Nicole K…
WOODPECKER BAY, Florida – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News has revealed that three fishermen from Georgia have been arrested by members of the Woodpecker Bay Police Department. The three individuals, who work for the Diddling Dixie Sheetrock Company…
Shock stories emerged from London, England, yesterday that the ghost of the world famous author had returned on the 200th anniversary of his birth. One spine-tingling story concerned the mysterious disappearance of young David Copperfield's pet go...
Reports coming in appear to suggest that a serious case of toxic seepage threatens to kill off all known marine life in Lake Erie, unless it's brought swiftly under control. The good news is that the USA appears so far to be blameless in this latest...
UK baked bean producers are reportedly "ecstatic" about an unprecedented surge in popularity in France and are taking steps to dramatically increase the production figures for the humble haricot in tomato sauce. In a tin. The French have a history...
News just in - There's been an astonishing twist of events just off the Bembridge shoreline as spectacularly large shoals of baked beans began amassing just yards out to sea. Crowds of local children - many wearing odd socks - who were initially l...
Markets around the world are panicking after it emerged that a group of speculators had cornered the world's sock futures. Prices of socks dropped like a stone when the FTSE opened this morning after a late flurry of selling in eastern markets. Wa...
A goldfish named Harold has set in train a controversy, by telling its owner, Mimsie Flopdangler, aged seven, of Trubshaw Crescent, Yarmouth, that people should leave fish, particularly goldfish, alone, and eat Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Mimsie...
NORFOLK - UK - A monster goldfish, over two feet long and weighing in at 27lbs survives on a diet of baked beans and chicken jalfrezi curry, claims owner, Ichabod Brundle, of Beccles. The goldfish, named "Giggsy" after the record breaking Manchest...
It was reported that, earlier today that animal rights activists and emergency personnel were rushed to the home of 'singing sensation' Justin Bieber. Apparently, Justin was removing his socks in the manner of any teenage 'singing sensation' by fl...
With our native stocks of cod, haddock and plaice in decline, celebrity chefs Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and Jamie Oliver (as part of Channel 4s Fish Fight series) have been encouraging us to eat a wider variety of fish. However, the latest addition...
The skint, hard up and penniless are up in arms today after it was revealed that Cas4gold.con are no longer going to accept goldfish. "It turns out," said Cas Aurum, atomic weight 79, CEO of Cas4gold.con, "Goldfish are not made of gold." This a...
Popular uprisings in Middle East dictatorships have had a surprising effect closer to home. The nation's goldfish have begun to make a stand against their limited freedoms and living conditions. The pets with the notoriously short attention spa...
Two archeologists announced today that they have discovered 2,000 mummified goldfish whilst doing research in a pyramid in Egypt. It took them a while to figure out what the miniature mummies actually were. They used special x-ray equipment to st...
Dozens of 'goldfish lovers' picketed outside a new downtown Toronto Sushi Restaurant today carrying placards and yelling, "We want goldfish", "When do we want them?" "NOW!" Apparently the owner of the new Sushi Restaurant is sticking by...
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