Lohan's Defense: "I Wanted to Buy That Jewelry Store"

Funny story written by Don Fulsom

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Sources close to Lindsay Lohan say the troubled former Hollywood star will tell jurors in her coming trial that she did, indeed, steal a $2,500 necklace from a jewelry store.

"But she will also claim," said one source, "that she was just testing the surveillance system of the store-a store she hopes to buy, and then operate, after she gets out of jail or rehab."

Said another friend of Lohan, "LiLo is extremely security conscious, so she wanted a fail-safe anti-theft detection system for any jewelry store she might purchase in the future."

A third friend chimed in: "Unfortunately for Lindsay, this particular spy system worked … and she got caught and forgot to bring along a note saying it was just a test."

Until her trial, Lohan has been ordered by a judge's restraining order to stay 300 feet away from all jewelry stores.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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