Dr. Phil Claims Slapping Someone is Acceptable Behavior

Funny story written by Charpa93

Thursday, 17 February 2011


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Dr. Phil claims Sigmund Freud was a slapper

Dr. Phil McGraw, known for his sometimes unorthodox approach to human interactions, has just come out with a new pamphlet that he is touting as a breakthrough in dealing with what he calls the "spoiled brat syndrome."

The pamphlet is entitled "Slapped Straight" and he expects to have it distributed to as many psychologists offices and school guidance counselors throughout America as he can. "It's that important," says McGraw.

"I've seen too many instances where a spoiled brat gets the upper hand, whether it is at home, in a classroom or even on my own show. Many times I've thought to myself, 'why don't we slap anymore?' and I just couldn't come up with a good answer."

Dr. Phil claims that ever since physical interactions between adults and children have become taboo, our nation has suffered a whole generation of out-of-control kids and he says it's time we did something about it to get back to the days where the adults are again in charge.

Dr. Phil plans on introducing his pamphlet on his show later this month when his special guest will be none other than Lindsay Lohan. "If anyone needs a good swat, it's that Lohan gal," said Dr. Phil. While Dr. Phil is totally against any type of physical violence, he claims that the kind of slaps he's talking about are therapeutic slaps. "Once on the rump, or a quick slap to the face to 'get someone's attention' is all I'm talking about," he explains. "You don't have to leave a big red welt to get your point across and I'd advise strongly against it," he said. But, he claims, a quick slap to the side of the head to 'wake some of these dummies up' can be just what the doctor ordered.

Asked if he is planning on using the slapping technique on Lohan when she appears live, he says that all depends on her behavior. "If she sits there and is truly repentant and asks my forgiveness and that of the audience, there may be no reason to slap her," he said. "But if she gets all up in my face and tells me I have no right talking straight talk to her, then she may find herself going over my knee for a quick swat. We're just gonna have to play that one by ear."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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